It's a Girl

Well, time is passing quickly and Hagie and I found out last week that Baby Cook is a girl. I've had three ultrasounds thus far. At my 12 week ultrasound, they "guessed" boy but said it was really too early to be certain. So for about 7 weeks, I was convinced it was a boy. Hagie wasn't so sure :). So when the tech told us girl last week, I literally thought I was going to fall off the table. Good thing they took my blood pressure before the ultrasound!

Hagie and I are both thrilled. At almost 20 weeks, Baby Girl is healthy and growing on schedule. What a relief for any parent to see and hear. Her profile pictures look like Connor...can't wait to meet her and of course I wonder what she will look like. I'm going to go ahead and guess that she'll favor her father, just like Connor. But that's okay, I happen to think he's handsome.

Baby Girl has a first name...but it's top secret :). I'm just not ready to put it out there. Her name came easily. Back when Hagie and I were dating, we had many conversations about children and names. We've had this baby's name picked out for about 8 years. We are in love with her and her name. Now if the next 20 weeks will pass as quickly as the first half~!

At almost 20 weeks, I can FINALLY feel more than flutters. Last night, I felt my first real movement. It wasn't a kick but more like she just bumped into me. I envisioned her doing gymnastics and accidentally bumping into the side of my uterus. She bumped around for about 20 minutes and then she must have decided to take a little nap. It's strange how I've forgotten some of the physical feelings associated with pregnancy. When she bumped me, it was the strangest feeling; one that seemed brand new! It definitely took a few minutes to get used to. But the movement is so reassuring.

Now it's time to start preparing her nursery. I have a feeling July will be here before we know it! Oh...and shopping, oh the cute girl clothes!

Mind and Body

Ask me how it feels to live with anxiety and I can talk all day. Ask me how it feels to have "the blues" or "the blahs" and I'd tell you I am learning. And I don't like it.

Anxiety has been present in my life for as long as I can remember. But the way I have been feeling lately is VERY NEW. My doctor says its likely related to a change in my progesterone and estrogen levels. Normal for a pregnant person. I've been given the encouragement that by week 26 or so, my levels should even out and I should feel the "blahs" start to lift.

It's become so real to me just how linked our body and minds are. I'll give hormones some of the credit for my recent mood but I can't discount how not feeling physically well affects me too. I have definitely noticed that when my body feels yucky, my mind follows suit. Well this stinks! I am hanging in here, with constant reminders to myself that this too shall pass and in the end, I'll have a precious gift from God to hold in my hands. Some days that's enough, some days it isn't. The days that I struggle tend to be the days that I don't answer the phone, don't call friends to chat, don't respond quickly, if at all, to text messages and it takes all my energy to just "handle business."

I feel fortunate to have a group of girlfriends that pay attention and recognize when I am having one of my days. My husband also falls into this category. Hagie is quick to pick up on if I am being too quiet or I am just not acting like myself. The hard part is it's difficult to explain to others when I really don't quite understand it myself. I guess what's nice is that to my husband and to my "girls" I don't have to explain, they just know. There lies the comfort.

A shout out to my hubby and my girls for recognizing when I'm not myself and for reaching out when I won't.

Good Riddance 1st Trimester

I'm about a month out of the first trimester of pregnancy and am starting to have some good days. I wanted to take a minute and document how the first 14 weeks went for me. I have to say, out of the 14 weeks, I'd say the only "good" weeks were the first 4.5 weeks, of which I didn't know I was pregnant and my body had not started all the wonderful (insert sarcasm here) hormonal changes. My list is not pleasant but it's real.

Let's see, for about ten and half weeks, I experienced all of the following, alone or in combination daily:
-All day nausea
-Dry heaving (I may or may not have peed on myself during my dry heaving moments)
-"other" digestive issues
-Absolutely no energy...walking to the mailbox felt like I'd run a marathon, not to mention keeping up with my clients and my active, happy big boy
-Feeling irritable and annoyed about 100% of the time
-Food aversions of all kinds...food was definitely NOT my friend.
-Not caring what my house looked like
-Not wanting to be bothered by anyone...the couch or the bed was where I wanted to be
-Taking short naps on my office couch just to attempt to settle my stomach and gain a little energy
-My weekly menu really just consisted of Ginger Ale, Spaghetti O's with hot sauce, Poptarts, Chicken flavored Ramen Noodles, and Cinnamon Rolls. Thank God for prenatal vitamins!
-Thoughts of "how am I going to do this?"

Now that I am 17 weeks pregnant, I can say that the days are getting better. My biggest complaint are the pregnancy migraines that seem to make an appearance about every three days or so. I have a new found level of empathy for all those that suffer from migraines regularly. Many a day I want to put my head on a chopping block and just knock it off! My energy is slowly coming back and the food aversions are getting better. Baby Cook still seems to have his/her favorites but at least the thought of food no longer makes me want to vomit.

I recognize this post won't be interesting to anyone else but me. However; my blog is my journey and the highs and lows of pregnancy are a part of my world.

17 weeks and counting....