Fine Lines

Okay, so I've written about parenting in past blogs but over the past nine months I have to come to realize that I could probably blog about parenting every day. There is ALWAYS something. Good and bad.

Today I am struggling with the fine line between hovering too much or letting go and watching "my" oldest make poor decisions that will eventually lead to consequences; some of which already have. It's doesn't help my confusion, frustration and worry when he says to me "you shouldn't care so much."

Can a parent ever care "too much?". Once they reach a certain age, do you sit on the sidelines and not be an active participant in helping them make good decisions in their journey called "life?" When does providing guidance and nurturance become overbearing to an eighteen year-old? Are natural consequences better than any consequences I can dish out? How do I protect my heart when I so desperately want the best for him? And is it even fair to expect as a mother that I have the right to protect my heart?

Seems I have a lot of questions and very few answers. Attempting to parent my teenager makes parenting my four year old feel as stressful as a game of Go Fish. You just cannot compare Go Fish to a game of strategic Chess!

I was hoping that the process of writing this would give me some clarity. It didn't. Well, maybe I do have one clear thought. I do believe in the power of natural consequences. I also believe that natural consequences can be good and bad. Good decisions lead to positive natural consequences and bad decisions lead to negative natural consequences. As a parent, it's the natural consequences of the poor decisions that are difficult to observe and accept. I suppose I was also reminded within the past few minutes that I don't have to like or support all of my teenager's decisions or his attitude for that matter; but I do have an obligation to provide him with a positive, loving environment that will hopefully make a lasting difference one day. It's the "in the meantime" that is both nerve-racking and frustrating.

I found this quote and it seems fitting:

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. ~Sloan Wilson

Guess I am dealing with the mixed feelings of loosening the rope and giving him room to learn from his own decisions when all I really want to do is tie him to the rope.