Well, I am on day four of feeling like crap and on like week 7 of not feeling like myself. Bronchitis that never went away, followed by a horrific case of stomach flu topped with walking pneumonia. Nice! I am not used to laying around, resting and just taking care of me. Afterall, I have a household to run, two boys to take care of, a husband to tend to and clients that truly need their time with me each week.
After talking to my girlfriend, Mrs. Toot-Toot, realization kicked in that, yes indeed, God is teaching me a lesson in self-care. It's so easy for me to teach my clients how to do this but not so easy for me to do myself. So I am working on it. Since Monday, I've been worried about the clients that I see each week, what their needs are, how easily can they be rescheduled, the money I am losing and what my colleagues must think about me being out.
I am slowly accepting that
1) It does not matter what my colleagues think!
2) God will provide financially and ensure that my family is OK despite the loss in income for the last two weeks
3) I cannot meet anyone's needs until I meet my own. For all you caretakers out there reading this.....this is always hard for us...its always others before ourselves.
So...I am trying to embrace this time period that God has given for my body to heal and am trying to let go of my worried thoughts about the little things that don't matter in the long run! I have a dear cousin that made that comment to me after she struggled with the possibility of thinking she may have had a recurrence with cancer. Now please understand, I am certainly not comparing my illness to a possible recurrence of cancer but the point is the same....the things we THINK matter in life really don't when God allows us to examine our lives and take stock of what really is important :) Thanks Caelyn for reminding me not so long ago of this lesson!
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1 comment:
Amen! You have to take care if yourself to take care of others!
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