Challenge Day 2: My First Love

I pondered whether or not I should write about my first love. It's not awkward for me but when I thought about it, I didn't want it to be awkward for Hagie. After much thought, I decided to go ahead and write about him. The way I look at it is we all have the experience of "a first love." Some people end up spending their life with their first love and some people, like me, end up learning from the relationship and moving on.

I don't think it's necessary to use his name here so I won't. I do want to share some history but more importantly, I want to share what I learned about myself and love. I am grateful for the experience just as it was. Nothing more, nothing less.

When I was fifteen, I got my first job at Baskin Robbins. The job itself actually wasn't that bad. I worked with mainly people my age or just a little older, the owners were cool and the real bonus was the two free scoops of ice cream I got after each shift I worked. It was at Baskin Robbins that I met him. He already worked there when I started. He was a year behind me in school and about five months younger in age. We didn't go to the same high school so I looked forward to seeing him at work. It didn't take long for our relationship to grow and before long we were spending most of our time together. We spent time alone, with my friends or his friends, or with one of our families. We spent a lot of time at Stone Mountain Park, Briscoe Park, Gwinnett Place Mall, and each other's houses. One of my favorite things to do at the time was cheer him on at his wrestling matches. He taught me how to drive a straight shift. We came from families with similiar belief systems and values. I think it's pretty fair to say that both sets of parents accepted the other into their family. There were plenty of occasions that I'd spend time with his mom while he was busy. It was neat.

When I was 18, our relationship ended after three years together when I was a freshman at The University of Georgia. He broke up with me. I'm not sure who my transition to college was harder for, me or him. He was a senior in high school.  Before I even left for college, I had become worried about his marijuana use. I didn't like it. I didn't understand it at the time. I recall nagging him quite a bit and didn't let up on him about his use. My perception is that the marijuana had a lot to do with our split. He would probably say it's because I started to act more like his mother and less like his girlfriend. Needless to say, I was devastated. I lost my appetite, cried a lot, called him a lot, thought I'd never love again and felt very lonely.

Now...fast forward about 17 years and I am married to the man that's meant for me! That being said, I did learn a good deal about myself and am able to recognize lessons/truths that came from my first love:
~I am a caretaker.
~I like to "date" as in go places, try new things, and enjoy dinner out.
~I learned that there are some "habits" that I just can't tolerate.
~I learned what it really feels like to miss someone.
~I am capable of loving unconditionally.
~I learned that heartbreak hurts like hell but I end up on my feet.
~I learned that time really does heal a broken heart.
~I learned how to have relationships with adults older than me, not my  family, that were healthy and independent of my relationship with him.
~I learned what it feels like to be emotionally connected to someone of the opposite sex.
~I value connection.
~I value quality time.

It's been a couple of years since I've seen my first love. I last saw him at his mother's funeral. Few words were spoken and that was okay. I wasn't there for him; I was there for me. He, too, graduated from The University of Georgia and is now married with a son. I'm happy for him and hope nothing but the best for him and his family.

Challenge Day 1: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I was born Stacie Leigh Chisolm on June 12, 1976. I am the second daughter (the baby) of Mike and Tina Chisolm. I have an older sister, Kelli, who is my best friend. This hasn't always been the case.I'm pretty sure she only tolerated my existence growing up. Born and raised in Snellville, GA, I had the same group of friends throughout my childhood. I'm lucky enough to have a small group of them still in my life today. My parents still live in the home that I grew up in. Not many people can say that. I don't think they plan on going anywhere no matter how much I ask them to move to Decatur. My parents are still married and continue to be great role models for marriage and "good living." I cannot recall ever hearing them fight, I always saw my dad kiss my mom goodbye in the mornings and we ate dinner together EVERY night at the dinner table. Well, every night except for Sunday evenings after church. Those nights we ate fast food in the den. But we were together. My parents probably had no idea that I was watching and observing their relationship so closely.

I feel like I was raised in a "normal" middle-class family where Christian values, work ethic and family were important. Although I'm not so sure there is such thing as "normal," if there is, I'm pretty sure the Chisolm household fit right in. Yes, there have been times where I have strayed and had experiences that I wouldn't write home about. But it's the experiences and desire to form my own opinions, beliefs and values that have shaped the adult I am today. To be honest, I'm sure some of my past decisions, both good and bad, that my family came to accept, may have gotten me labeled as the "black sheep" of the family. I'm okay with that. My mom has always told me that I'm stubborn, hard-headed and strong-willed. I don't see these characteristics as a bad thing...in most situations. It's my stubbornness and strong-will that have moved me forward in life. I choose to live my life with no regrets and look at past experiences as learning opportunities. I've had plenty!~

Today, I'm Stacie Cook. I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, Godmother,therapist, stepmother,cousin and granddaughter. I am a Georgia Bulldog!I love spending time with my family. I love my job. I love my community. I love my friends. I am sensitive. I am an extrovert. I am open-minded. I am a caretaker. I am curious not nosey. I enjoy both the finer things in life and the simplicity of living life within our means. I love the beach. There is nothing more soothing to me than the sounds of the waves crashing on the shoreline; even better with a glass of wine in hand. I love Disney World. At Disney World, I get to be a kid too. I love watching Connor enjoy Disney and I cannot wait to introduce Sammie Sam to the wonder of everything Disney! I like sappy chick-flicks. I like a good cry. I equally enjoy crime television and silently watch and daydream about being the one carrying the badge and gun. I happen to think I'd make an incredible undercover detective or crime scene investigator. I like to dance. I like to go to the movies. I like to try new restaurants.

When I'm not at home with my husband and babies or other family members, I can be found at work doing what I love, spending time with a girlfriend, or volunteering for the nonprofit for which I sit on the Board as the Clinical Program Chair. My life is full and it's a daily struggle to strike the right balance. I'm sure I don't always succeed but I always do my best!

*This entry was much harder than I expected. I feel certain that I've left something out or not mentioned something that is significant to my identity. That being said, I guess you'll have to keep reading!

Thirty Day Challenge

I found something different to do for the next thirty days. I think it'll be fun. It probably won't be too exciting to read but it should get me in the habit of writing more often. Blogging every day might not be feasible but a couple of times a week is certainly doable. My friend, Tasha, started this challenge last week and it's been fun to follow. Thanks Tasha for sharing your idea.

This is how the challenge works. Each day, I'll write about a different topic. Hopefully at the end of the 30 days, you will have learned something new about me and I'll be writing more regularly.

This list of topics was developed by someone else:
Day 01- Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

Happy Reading :)

"Superman"

This entry isn't what I had in mind when I thought about my last blog post for the year. However, I'm dedicated to writing what is on my heart.

It is with sadness and a heavy heart that I sit here. I've mentioned before that I have been following the journey of a young father, my age, battling cancer while his beautiful wife stands by his side with their two young children. They call him "Superman." His wife updated their blog site this morning to report that David is "coming home." David is being released from Northside Hospital where he has been for several weeks undergoing strenuous treatment, away from his family who reside in Athens, GA. David is being sent home with hospice care.

I'm not really sure what to say. This I know; putting faith into practice is hard work sometimes, for me, anyway. Our human desire to understand the things that happen in our lives and those around us is even more puzzling when we can't make sense of certain circumstances. I sat down beside Hagie as I got out the laptop to blog and made the comment to him that I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. I think I've always struggled with this. I've heard sermon after sermon on this exact topic but it doesn't make it any easier to wrap my head around when I see tragedy in the life of good. Hagie looked at me and commented "God has a way of choosing." He's right. And I suppose no other explanation is needed. I just need to have faith that in all things, good and bad, God has a perfect plan and purpose.

As one of God's children, I am called to love with an open heart, show compassion and empathy and pray without ceasing. I have been reminded that I can do all of these things for people that I know and those who I've never met. I thank "Superman" for this lesson. I imagine David will never know the full extent to which he has touched and influenced so many people. I sit in tears for someone I do not know but this is what makes me real. This is what makes me human. My heart breaks because I know there is a family in Athens, GA that is about to face the most difficult part of their loved one's journey.

As the year 2011 comes to an end, I'll continue to pray for David Boyd A.K.A "Superman" and his family. I'll continue to believe that it's never to late for a miracle, that God is the ultimate comforter and HE is the master of all plans.
I'll toast to David's strength, courage and amazing faith.

David's journey: weloveteamboyd.blogspot.com

"A 2011 Recap"

As I sit her sipping on a little spiked eggnog and enjoying the lights of the Christmas tree, I am aware that another year is going and another one is around the bend. It seems that as I get older, the years go by faster and my desire to stop time becomes more and more present. Instead of a narrative, I'd like to make list of memories/experiences, lessons and thoughts that I associate with 2011. A narrative would just be way too long!

~Samantha Caelyn Cook entered the world on July 10. She came quick, fast and in hurry. She shares her daddy's birthday.
~I experienced natural childbirth. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything though I'm sure that was not my opinion at the time!
~My hubby got a local job in his field and got to "come off the road" in August. Praise God!
~My precious son Connor started Kindergarten in August. He has my heart!
~Life lesson reminder: Life is a journey and I'm not promised tomorrow.
~A friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Melanoma in December. My heart aches.
~Victor's mom died in August. There are no words to comfort the loss of a mother.
~I realized I really do enjoy cooking.
~Mr. Cook (my father in law) was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had surgery. He is now cancer free!
~I met a lady who has my "dream" job. An undercover vice cop/detective for the Atlanta Police Department. I could listen to her stories all day long!
~Connor lost his first tooth in December.
~Victor graduated from high school in May. So proud of him!!
~Hagie and I experienced the loss of his mentor, David Koontz, to cancer.
~I've learned there aren't many differences between store brand and name brand.
~No Disney trip in 2011 but will definitely make sure one is in the plan for 2012.
~My Goddaughter, Elza, turned ONE in October. I keep telling her that I have not given her permission to grow up!
~Life lesson reminder: I NEED the Lord, my family and my friends!
~I continue to LOVE my job and feel fortunate to have a job that I enjoy going to every week.
~I have a new level of empathy for those who suffer with diabetes after experiencing gestational diabetes during my pregnancy. I like my carbs!
~My love for the in-prison population continues to grow and I have found that the population of in-prisoned persons is one that I am passionate about.
~A friend, JG, had a healthy baby boy in November after enduring significant losses. Welcome to the world Baby Jacob!! God is good!
~My cousin Christopher and his wife, Sarah, welcomed Miss Ellis Anne on October 31. Another blessing. I'm excited for Sammie to have a "cousin" close in age!

I am certain that I have left out many things that belong on this list. As a memory pops up or an experience comes to mind, I'll come back to this post and add to my list. Until then, I encourage all my followers to reflect on your own memories, experiences and life lessons of 2011.

"Hello..Time...Where Did You Go?!?"

Sammie Sam will be five months old on December 10th. I feel like time is going by so fast. I don't like it. Every day I am very aware that she is my last baby by choice (unless God has other plans) and it makes me sad on occasion. After Sammie, there will be no more "firsts." No more first smiles, first laughs, first roll-overs or first sitting up. I have experienced my last pregnancy which feels bitter sweet. I'm not a great pregnant person but I sure miss my "baby bump." I miss her kicks, her hiccups and her somersaults. I should add that I don't miss the heartburn, nausea and gestational diabetes. Although I don't miss those things, they all seem so irrelevant when I look into the eyes of my precious baby girl. I continue to breastfeed Sammie Sam and enjoy that special bonding time that we have. I know that in just a few short months, she'll likely have no interest in nursing and will continue to grow and develop into a little girl. My mom keeps telling me to move Sammie to her crib from her co-sleeper before she realizes she doesn't want to be in her own room. I know she's right but it's hard. I just wish time would slow down a bit.

It's frightening how fast time escapes. I feel like just yesterday I delivered Sammie and here it is five months later. I find myself concentrating on the details of her birth because I don't want to forget. I look at her and I am amazed that Hagie and I created such an amazingly wonderful baby girl, with God's help of course. I look at Connor the same way. More and more I realize that parenting a child is a privilege. It's a privilege that should not be taken lightly. I have been entrusted to love, teach, parent and discipline these two precious little people so that they may grow up to be filled with faith in their heavenly father, know that hard work pays off and most importantly that they are worthy of all good things including unconditional love. That's a lot of pressure but I'm so filled with joy that God picked me for this job with Sammie Sam and Connor.I have to throw Vic in here too. No, I'm not his Momma but I love him just as much as my two and I take my role in his life seriously too!! If I could just freeze time for "my three" for just a little bit...

"More to Life"

The Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone and with that, "Black Friday" has also passed. In recent years, Hagie and I have geared up and joined the masses. Not so much for the retail sales but more for the fun of rushing around and officially starting the Christmas season. This year was different and it feels different. There was no discussion about what stores to go to first or what was on the Christmas list that we had to score before it was sold out. Rather this year, "Black Friday" and the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend was spent enjoying family and appreciating a few days of simplicity. College football, long days in our pj's, our favorite shows on the DVR and decorating our home as we prepare to celebrate Christmas. Simplicity is a foreign concept to so many of us, myself included, but I am learning to enjoy the simple things. And it's not so bad.

As I think about Thanksgiving and the upcoming Christmas holiday, I am actually looking forward to keeping things simple and easy and spending time with those I cherish so much. As he always does, the God I serve has reminded me, yet again, that he is in control and life is to be lived without the promise of tomorrow. Everyday should be Thanksgiving.

I've been following the story of a guy my age from Rockdale County that is in the fight of his life, battling cancer with a grim prognosis. I've never met this individual but was drawn to his story because of his unwavering faith and endurance to keep fighting despite what his doctors say. David is a father to two small children and has chosen to believe that his miracle will come. Along with following David's story, a friend was recently diagnosed with cancer of the rectum. She has just undergone surgery to remove the tumor along with her entire rectum to give her the best chance at survival and beating the rare cancer that attacked her body. She, too, is choosing to believe in her own future despite comments from her doctors. She has her life but will live each day with a colostomy bag. Not fun I'm sure but as she has said "it's better than being dead."

These two stories of cancer and the spirit and faith of these two individuals has really stopped me in my tracks. Why should I concern myself with "Black Friday" sales or whether or not Santa will fulfill Christmas wishes? It's not about any of that. This holiday season I want to be deliberate with my time and thoughts. I want to pay attention to all the gifts in my life and take the time to pray for those that are struggling and fighting for the opportunity to simply live.

It's amazing the lessons we can all learn if we sit back and take the time to watch the journey of others. We all have our own journey. We all have peaks and valleys along the way. It's how we decide to handle our peaks and valleys that really counts. More importantly, it's whether or not we choose to believe, that, even in the darkest, toughest valley there is hope and joy through gratitude, prayer and support.

I am thankful for David and my friend for allowing me to follow their journey. This holiday season I am reminded that very little in life matters beyond my relationship with my family and friends, my heavenly father and my children. This year I will raise my glass and toast to simplicity, health and the opportunity to live life with family and friends that I adore!