Challenge Day 6: My Day (Yesterday)

Sundays are family day at the Cook household. We usually attend Andy Stanley's Buckhead Church but yesterday we made the decision to enjoy being home and with each other. More days than not, Hagie and I are exhausted by the end of the day so sometimes it's nice to have a day where we don't have any expectations.

Surprisingly, yesterday I was pretty productive. I had some energy and felt motivated. After having Connor almost six years ago, I've learned to take full advantage of having some "extra" energy and to maximize whenever possible. That being said, here's what my day looked like yesterday:

1. I let Hagie sleep in. He's so good to let me get an extra hour or so on the weekends when I'm not working or if we are going to the late service at church. Hagie works hard and I know he's tired too.
2. While Hagie got a little extra sleep, I got up with Sammie and Connor. I made a pot of coffee, fixed Connor his chocolate chip waffle, fed Sammie Sam, and cleaned the kitchen.
3. Made lemon-poppy seed muffins.
4. Watched Andy Stanley live online at 11am. Always worth the time!
5. Worked on the endless mound of laundry that never appears to get any smaller no matter how much laundry we do!
6. Organized Sammie's clothes. She's growing so fast.
7. Taught Connor how to make up his bed.
8. Helped Connor clean his room.
9. Made potato soup and sandwiches for lunch.
10. Did a blog entry.
11. Cleaned the bathrooms. Connor's is a great helper. He actually likes to help clean the bathrooms!
12. Took a nap with Connor. Sweetness. I love that he still wants to lay close.
13. Playtime with Sammie.
14. Fed Sammie her dinner. Carrots and prunes.
15. Made hamburgers for dinner. Family dinner at the table. Love it!
16. Picked out work clothes for Monday.
17. Daily devotional (with Hagie) and journal
18. Bedtime with a book..."Still Missing."

I think I remembered everything! Throw in there several "nursing" sessions with Sammie and some Facebook/Pinterest/Blogger time and I think my list of activities is complete. It was a great day. A day with my family and I was productive.

Challenge Day 5: My Definition of Love

When I think of love, it feels broad and limitless. I've experienced love in various forms throughout my 35 years. There are different types of love. There is the love between husband and wife, domestic partners, a parent and child, a grandparent and grandchild, family members, godparent and godchild, friends, man's best friend and his owner, the love for and from our heavenly father and those we love because our heart tells us to. I'm not sure I can really sum up a solid definition of love. I've compiled a list of characteristics/words that I'd feel compelled to include in the definition of love if "Mr. Webster" approached me for help with the dictionary:

• unconditional
• give and take
• forgiving
• having each other's back
• dependable but not co-dependent
• comforting
• passionate
• non-judgmental
• considerate
• care about the other's well-being
• compassion
• transparent
• supportive
• sincere
• wanting what's in the best interest of the other
• encouraging

Love makes the world go round. It's how I feel secure in my world even when I hit a bump in the road. For me, it feels as good to "show" love as it is to receive it. That's the give and take. I am so grateful for all the love in my life and the different relationships from which it comes my way!

Challenge Day 4: What I Ate (Yesterday)

I"m pretty sure that no one cares what I ate yesterday but to be true to the "outline" I suppose I'll list yesterday's intake here. Fortunately for me, there's nothing too embarrassing to record in terms of what I consumed :)

Breakfast:
Coffee with sugar and Almond Joy creamer
Granola Bar
water

Lunch:
Reduced Fat crackers with Sharp White Cheddar Cheese and a Dr. Thunder (yep, you read that right! Tastes the same as Dr. Pepper and cheaper!)

Dinner:
Two bean burritos and more Dr. Thunder.
Water

Bedtime snack:
Two pieces of Christmas chocolate.
water

Well, that was exciting.

Challenge Day 3: My Parents

I have absolutely no idea where to start with this so I'm just going to dive in. My parents are Thomas Michael Chisolm and Tina Dianne Chisolm (Rappa). They are incredible.

My dad is the middle child of three siblings born to Durward and Robbie Sue Chisolm. He was born in Meridian, Mississippi and moved to Decatur when he was in elementary school.  To this day, he calls Mississippi home.  My dad didn't have the easiest of childhoods. Born to a father who was an alcoholic and gambler, he often did without. He knew things that he shouldn't have known. He doesn't talk about it much but when he does I like to listen to his stories. One of my favorite stories to hear my dad tell is one that involves my granddad's involvement with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Fortunately, my grandfather stopped drinking when my dad was still a child. My grandfather quit drinking cold turkey and started going to AA meetings. He maintained sobriety from that day forward. He died when he was in his 80's; a sober man. His AA sponsor bought my dad his very first baseball glove. It's a good thing because my dad is a good ball player and continued to play ball well into my childhood. I used to love going to watch my dad play! One of my favorite memories is that my dad and I used to share a can of Hungry Jack biscuits EVERY morning before school. Maybe "share" isn't the right word. I ate seven, he had three. Not exactly an even split but he never complained.  I'm a daddy's girl now and forever.

My dad is a hard worker. As a younger man, my dad was a land surveyor. Eventually, he ended up owner of Chisolm's TV and Stereo, a business that his father started. We give my dad a hard time because his shop used to be in the building that is now Blind Willies in the Virginia Highlands. Before making the decision to move his business to East Point, he had an opportunity to buy the Blind Willies building for the cheap cheap. He didn't but as dad says "it wasn't meant to be." My dad still drives to East Point every day from Snellville. Chisolm's TV and Stereo is still in business. The only time my dad didn't go to work was if he was snowed in,it was Christmas or the one beach week he took a year. He always provided and took care of us. He worked hard so my mom could stay at home with me and my sister when we were growing up. For that, I am immensely thankful.

Some of my favorite things to do with my dad growing up were playing a good game of HORSE in basketball, playing tennis at the beach, throwing the tennis ball up against the house to see who could catch it and practicing softball. One of my fondest memories is of us playing an endless number of UNO on the couch before bedtime. He never hesitated to spend time with me.

I am so thankful for having a dad that knows its okay to cry and show emotion, that would sit on my bed and let me cry when I needed to, and that continues to show absolute unconditional love and support. I am thankful that my Dad is such a strong Christian man. My dad rocks for so many reasons!

My mom is the only daughter of two children born to Vito and Marie Rappa. My mom was born in Decatur and spent her childhood, teenage and early married years there until she moved to Snellville with my dad in 1972. My granddad was a WWII vet, NAVY,that worked most of his adult life at a printing company. My grandmother was a successful real estate agent. My mom's mom is my only living grandparent. My mom was also the child of an alcoholic. I've blogged about Vito in the past. No doubt, his experience in the war was emotionally damaging and alcohol became his way of dealing with the horrific memories associated with being in the war.

My mother is beautiful. She was in the "popular" crowd at school and was on the Homecoming Court in high school. What makes my mom even more beautiful is that her beauty is both within and external. And she has no idea just how beautiful she is. My mom was a stay-at-home mom most of my childhood. She began teaching preschool at our church and I'm sure made her mark on many young hearts. Now that I'm a mother, I recognize the sacrifice she made to stay home with us. There was such security in knowing that every day after school my mom's car was going to be in the driveway. About once a week, maybe more, my mom took me and my sister to McDonald's for french fries for our after school snack. We loved it. My mom always made sure I got to softball practice, cheer practice, and youth group on time. There were several years that my mom "camped out" with me just to make sure I got a spot on the cheerleading squad. I've learned what it feels like to be a "taxi" service but she would have never called it that and she certainly didn't complain. I used to look forward to shopping with my mom on Saturdays. We'd go to Gwinnett Place Mall. She never bought herself anything. What she had, she spent on my sister and I. One specific memory I have is of the day that I got braces put on my teeth. My mouth hurt so bad and she did what every great mom would do...she took me shopping. I picked out an outfit in The Limited. I still remember that outfit. Saturday mornings were pretty routine. I remember my mom used to vacuum every Saturday morning before we ran errands. I recall sitting in the recliner, eating peanut butter off of a teaspoon, while she cleaned. During the week, she used to let me sit on top of the heating vent in the mornings while I got dressed for school. I  imagine that she would say getting me dressed for school in elementary school was absolutely no fun as I evidently complained about how my clothes "felt."  My mom is so gentle. I remember her being so cautious when she washed my hair, not to get shampoo in my eyes. She isn't a yeller and really only raised her voice when I deserved it. I'm sure I deserved it more than I got it! My mother has more patience than is fathomable. Thank God or I may have been living in the carport when I was a teenager!

I am thankful for having a mom who is now not only my mother but my best friend. Our relationship has changed and developed into something that I treasure to my core. I wasn't the easiest child (stubborn, strong-willed, had a smart-mouth) which definitely impacted our relationship when I was a teenager. I am so grateful that she has a forgiving heart and a love for me that is unconditional, especially on those days that I was probably really hard to "like."  I am thankful for the example she set for me. I look at my own children and hope that they think I am as awesome one day as I think my mom is!

My parents have been married 44 years. They are coming up on 45 years in June. What a blessing and an admirable example of marriage. My parents still live in Snellville where my mom works for The City of Snellville Police Department and my dad continues to operate Chisolm's TV. I relentlessly  try and convince them that Decatur is just the place for them to retire! After all, they'd be moving back to where it all started :).

In my opinion, my children have the best Nana and PawPaw EVER! They are such a blessing to my children. Just as loving, giving and committed as they were with me. They go above and beyond. There is nothing they wouldn't do for Connor and Sammie Sam.

I could go on and on about my parents and what they mean to me. I love both of them from the very core of my being and I value every SECOND that I get to spend with them. I thank God every day for their health and presence in my life. I pray for their continued safety and well-being. I pray that they feel as loved as they truly are!

"Just Can't Do It Today"

Today I should be on Day 3 of the blog challenge. It's just not gonna happen. I'm supposed to be writing about my parents but I just don't have the emotional energy to give them the time and effort they so deserve. Hopefully ttomorrow I can tackle trying to sum up my parents in a blog post...not sure that's even possible.

To say that I am emotionally drained is an understatement! I saw clients at the office this morning and checked facebook after I left only to read of the passing of "Superman." The tears began to flow immediately and my heart sank. I feel like my emotions have taken over. It may seem strange to some that I'd have such a strong reaction to the illness and death of someone I don't know. But after following his journey and seeing not only the amount of people who surrounded him but the type of people that surrounded him, I can't help but feel sad for so many that loved him. Not only that, it's just difficult to think about this amazing man being taken so early and leaving behind two adorable, young children and a wife that seems just as incredible as he was.

I pulled myself together andI went back to the office this evening to see more clients.  I get home and check email, only to find an email from a client's sister to let me know that my client was in a horrible accident December 18th. She's just been transferred from Grady ICU to Shepherd Spinal Center and is dealing with a traumatic brain injury. Once again, I am slapped in the face with the reality that all any of us have are moments, the ones that we are presently in and the next one isn't promised nor is it guaranteed to be what we expect!

I'll go to bed tonight in prayer for all those affected by the loss of "Superman" and for my client as she puts all her physical and mental energy into her own healing process.

Challenge Day 2: My First Love

I pondered whether or not I should write about my first love. It's not awkward for me but when I thought about it, I didn't want it to be awkward for Hagie. After much thought, I decided to go ahead and write about him. The way I look at it is we all have the experience of "a first love." Some people end up spending their life with their first love and some people, like me, end up learning from the relationship and moving on.

I don't think it's necessary to use his name here so I won't. I do want to share some history but more importantly, I want to share what I learned about myself and love. I am grateful for the experience just as it was. Nothing more, nothing less.

When I was fifteen, I got my first job at Baskin Robbins. The job itself actually wasn't that bad. I worked with mainly people my age or just a little older, the owners were cool and the real bonus was the two free scoops of ice cream I got after each shift I worked. It was at Baskin Robbins that I met him. He already worked there when I started. He was a year behind me in school and about five months younger in age. We didn't go to the same high school so I looked forward to seeing him at work. It didn't take long for our relationship to grow and before long we were spending most of our time together. We spent time alone, with my friends or his friends, or with one of our families. We spent a lot of time at Stone Mountain Park, Briscoe Park, Gwinnett Place Mall, and each other's houses. One of my favorite things to do at the time was cheer him on at his wrestling matches. He taught me how to drive a straight shift. We came from families with similiar belief systems and values. I think it's pretty fair to say that both sets of parents accepted the other into their family. There were plenty of occasions that I'd spend time with his mom while he was busy. It was neat.

When I was 18, our relationship ended after three years together when I was a freshman at The University of Georgia. He broke up with me. I'm not sure who my transition to college was harder for, me or him. He was a senior in high school.  Before I even left for college, I had become worried about his marijuana use. I didn't like it. I didn't understand it at the time. I recall nagging him quite a bit and didn't let up on him about his use. My perception is that the marijuana had a lot to do with our split. He would probably say it's because I started to act more like his mother and less like his girlfriend. Needless to say, I was devastated. I lost my appetite, cried a lot, called him a lot, thought I'd never love again and felt very lonely.

Now...fast forward about 17 years and I am married to the man that's meant for me! That being said, I did learn a good deal about myself and am able to recognize lessons/truths that came from my first love:
~I am a caretaker.
~I like to "date" as in go places, try new things, and enjoy dinner out.
~I learned that there are some "habits" that I just can't tolerate.
~I learned what it really feels like to miss someone.
~I am capable of loving unconditionally.
~I learned that heartbreak hurts like hell but I end up on my feet.
~I learned that time really does heal a broken heart.
~I learned how to have relationships with adults older than me, not my  family, that were healthy and independent of my relationship with him.
~I learned what it feels like to be emotionally connected to someone of the opposite sex.
~I value connection.
~I value quality time.

It's been a couple of years since I've seen my first love. I last saw him at his mother's funeral. Few words were spoken and that was okay. I wasn't there for him; I was there for me. He, too, graduated from The University of Georgia and is now married with a son. I'm happy for him and hope nothing but the best for him and his family.

Challenge Day 1: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I was born Stacie Leigh Chisolm on June 12, 1976. I am the second daughter (the baby) of Mike and Tina Chisolm. I have an older sister, Kelli, who is my best friend. This hasn't always been the case.I'm pretty sure she only tolerated my existence growing up. Born and raised in Snellville, GA, I had the same group of friends throughout my childhood. I'm lucky enough to have a small group of them still in my life today. My parents still live in the home that I grew up in. Not many people can say that. I don't think they plan on going anywhere no matter how much I ask them to move to Decatur. My parents are still married and continue to be great role models for marriage and "good living." I cannot recall ever hearing them fight, I always saw my dad kiss my mom goodbye in the mornings and we ate dinner together EVERY night at the dinner table. Well, every night except for Sunday evenings after church. Those nights we ate fast food in the den. But we were together. My parents probably had no idea that I was watching and observing their relationship so closely.

I feel like I was raised in a "normal" middle-class family where Christian values, work ethic and family were important. Although I'm not so sure there is such thing as "normal," if there is, I'm pretty sure the Chisolm household fit right in. Yes, there have been times where I have strayed and had experiences that I wouldn't write home about. But it's the experiences and desire to form my own opinions, beliefs and values that have shaped the adult I am today. To be honest, I'm sure some of my past decisions, both good and bad, that my family came to accept, may have gotten me labeled as the "black sheep" of the family. I'm okay with that. My mom has always told me that I'm stubborn, hard-headed and strong-willed. I don't see these characteristics as a bad thing...in most situations. It's my stubbornness and strong-will that have moved me forward in life. I choose to live my life with no regrets and look at past experiences as learning opportunities. I've had plenty!~

Today, I'm Stacie Cook. I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, Godmother,therapist, stepmother,cousin and granddaughter. I am a Georgia Bulldog!I love spending time with my family. I love my job. I love my community. I love my friends. I am sensitive. I am an extrovert. I am open-minded. I am a caretaker. I am curious not nosey. I enjoy both the finer things in life and the simplicity of living life within our means. I love the beach. There is nothing more soothing to me than the sounds of the waves crashing on the shoreline; even better with a glass of wine in hand. I love Disney World. At Disney World, I get to be a kid too. I love watching Connor enjoy Disney and I cannot wait to introduce Sammie Sam to the wonder of everything Disney! I like sappy chick-flicks. I like a good cry. I equally enjoy crime television and silently watch and daydream about being the one carrying the badge and gun. I happen to think I'd make an incredible undercover detective or crime scene investigator. I like to dance. I like to go to the movies. I like to try new restaurants.

When I'm not at home with my husband and babies or other family members, I can be found at work doing what I love, spending time with a girlfriend, or volunteering for the nonprofit for which I sit on the Board as the Clinical Program Chair. My life is full and it's a daily struggle to strike the right balance. I'm sure I don't always succeed but I always do my best!

*This entry was much harder than I expected. I feel certain that I've left something out or not mentioned something that is significant to my identity. That being said, I guess you'll have to keep reading!