Thirty Day Challenge

I found something different to do for the next thirty days. I think it'll be fun. It probably won't be too exciting to read but it should get me in the habit of writing more often. Blogging every day might not be feasible but a couple of times a week is certainly doable. My friend, Tasha, started this challenge last week and it's been fun to follow. Thanks Tasha for sharing your idea.

This is how the challenge works. Each day, I'll write about a different topic. Hopefully at the end of the 30 days, you will have learned something new about me and I'll be writing more regularly.

This list of topics was developed by someone else:
Day 01- Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

Happy Reading :)

"Superman"

This entry isn't what I had in mind when I thought about my last blog post for the year. However, I'm dedicated to writing what is on my heart.

It is with sadness and a heavy heart that I sit here. I've mentioned before that I have been following the journey of a young father, my age, battling cancer while his beautiful wife stands by his side with their two young children. They call him "Superman." His wife updated their blog site this morning to report that David is "coming home." David is being released from Northside Hospital where he has been for several weeks undergoing strenuous treatment, away from his family who reside in Athens, GA. David is being sent home with hospice care.

I'm not really sure what to say. This I know; putting faith into practice is hard work sometimes, for me, anyway. Our human desire to understand the things that happen in our lives and those around us is even more puzzling when we can't make sense of certain circumstances. I sat down beside Hagie as I got out the laptop to blog and made the comment to him that I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. I think I've always struggled with this. I've heard sermon after sermon on this exact topic but it doesn't make it any easier to wrap my head around when I see tragedy in the life of good. Hagie looked at me and commented "God has a way of choosing." He's right. And I suppose no other explanation is needed. I just need to have faith that in all things, good and bad, God has a perfect plan and purpose.

As one of God's children, I am called to love with an open heart, show compassion and empathy and pray without ceasing. I have been reminded that I can do all of these things for people that I know and those who I've never met. I thank "Superman" for this lesson. I imagine David will never know the full extent to which he has touched and influenced so many people. I sit in tears for someone I do not know but this is what makes me real. This is what makes me human. My heart breaks because I know there is a family in Athens, GA that is about to face the most difficult part of their loved one's journey.

As the year 2011 comes to an end, I'll continue to pray for David Boyd A.K.A "Superman" and his family. I'll continue to believe that it's never to late for a miracle, that God is the ultimate comforter and HE is the master of all plans.
I'll toast to David's strength, courage and amazing faith.

David's journey: weloveteamboyd.blogspot.com

"A 2011 Recap"

As I sit her sipping on a little spiked eggnog and enjoying the lights of the Christmas tree, I am aware that another year is going and another one is around the bend. It seems that as I get older, the years go by faster and my desire to stop time becomes more and more present. Instead of a narrative, I'd like to make list of memories/experiences, lessons and thoughts that I associate with 2011. A narrative would just be way too long!

~Samantha Caelyn Cook entered the world on July 10. She came quick, fast and in hurry. She shares her daddy's birthday.
~I experienced natural childbirth. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything though I'm sure that was not my opinion at the time!
~My hubby got a local job in his field and got to "come off the road" in August. Praise God!
~My precious son Connor started Kindergarten in August. He has my heart!
~Life lesson reminder: Life is a journey and I'm not promised tomorrow.
~A friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Melanoma in December. My heart aches.
~Victor's mom died in August. There are no words to comfort the loss of a mother.
~I realized I really do enjoy cooking.
~Mr. Cook (my father in law) was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had surgery. He is now cancer free!
~I met a lady who has my "dream" job. An undercover vice cop/detective for the Atlanta Police Department. I could listen to her stories all day long!
~Connor lost his first tooth in December.
~Victor graduated from high school in May. So proud of him!!
~Hagie and I experienced the loss of his mentor, David Koontz, to cancer.
~I've learned there aren't many differences between store brand and name brand.
~No Disney trip in 2011 but will definitely make sure one is in the plan for 2012.
~My Goddaughter, Elza, turned ONE in October. I keep telling her that I have not given her permission to grow up!
~Life lesson reminder: I NEED the Lord, my family and my friends!
~I continue to LOVE my job and feel fortunate to have a job that I enjoy going to every week.
~I have a new level of empathy for those who suffer with diabetes after experiencing gestational diabetes during my pregnancy. I like my carbs!
~My love for the in-prison population continues to grow and I have found that the population of in-prisoned persons is one that I am passionate about.
~A friend, JG, had a healthy baby boy in November after enduring significant losses. Welcome to the world Baby Jacob!! God is good!
~My cousin Christopher and his wife, Sarah, welcomed Miss Ellis Anne on October 31. Another blessing. I'm excited for Sammie to have a "cousin" close in age!

I am certain that I have left out many things that belong on this list. As a memory pops up or an experience comes to mind, I'll come back to this post and add to my list. Until then, I encourage all my followers to reflect on your own memories, experiences and life lessons of 2011.

"Hello..Time...Where Did You Go?!?"

Sammie Sam will be five months old on December 10th. I feel like time is going by so fast. I don't like it. Every day I am very aware that she is my last baby by choice (unless God has other plans) and it makes me sad on occasion. After Sammie, there will be no more "firsts." No more first smiles, first laughs, first roll-overs or first sitting up. I have experienced my last pregnancy which feels bitter sweet. I'm not a great pregnant person but I sure miss my "baby bump." I miss her kicks, her hiccups and her somersaults. I should add that I don't miss the heartburn, nausea and gestational diabetes. Although I don't miss those things, they all seem so irrelevant when I look into the eyes of my precious baby girl. I continue to breastfeed Sammie Sam and enjoy that special bonding time that we have. I know that in just a few short months, she'll likely have no interest in nursing and will continue to grow and develop into a little girl. My mom keeps telling me to move Sammie to her crib from her co-sleeper before she realizes she doesn't want to be in her own room. I know she's right but it's hard. I just wish time would slow down a bit.

It's frightening how fast time escapes. I feel like just yesterday I delivered Sammie and here it is five months later. I find myself concentrating on the details of her birth because I don't want to forget. I look at her and I am amazed that Hagie and I created such an amazingly wonderful baby girl, with God's help of course. I look at Connor the same way. More and more I realize that parenting a child is a privilege. It's a privilege that should not be taken lightly. I have been entrusted to love, teach, parent and discipline these two precious little people so that they may grow up to be filled with faith in their heavenly father, know that hard work pays off and most importantly that they are worthy of all good things including unconditional love. That's a lot of pressure but I'm so filled with joy that God picked me for this job with Sammie Sam and Connor.I have to throw Vic in here too. No, I'm not his Momma but I love him just as much as my two and I take my role in his life seriously too!! If I could just freeze time for "my three" for just a little bit...

"More to Life"

The Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone and with that, "Black Friday" has also passed. In recent years, Hagie and I have geared up and joined the masses. Not so much for the retail sales but more for the fun of rushing around and officially starting the Christmas season. This year was different and it feels different. There was no discussion about what stores to go to first or what was on the Christmas list that we had to score before it was sold out. Rather this year, "Black Friday" and the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend was spent enjoying family and appreciating a few days of simplicity. College football, long days in our pj's, our favorite shows on the DVR and decorating our home as we prepare to celebrate Christmas. Simplicity is a foreign concept to so many of us, myself included, but I am learning to enjoy the simple things. And it's not so bad.

As I think about Thanksgiving and the upcoming Christmas holiday, I am actually looking forward to keeping things simple and easy and spending time with those I cherish so much. As he always does, the God I serve has reminded me, yet again, that he is in control and life is to be lived without the promise of tomorrow. Everyday should be Thanksgiving.

I've been following the story of a guy my age from Rockdale County that is in the fight of his life, battling cancer with a grim prognosis. I've never met this individual but was drawn to his story because of his unwavering faith and endurance to keep fighting despite what his doctors say. David is a father to two small children and has chosen to believe that his miracle will come. Along with following David's story, a friend was recently diagnosed with cancer of the rectum. She has just undergone surgery to remove the tumor along with her entire rectum to give her the best chance at survival and beating the rare cancer that attacked her body. She, too, is choosing to believe in her own future despite comments from her doctors. She has her life but will live each day with a colostomy bag. Not fun I'm sure but as she has said "it's better than being dead."

These two stories of cancer and the spirit and faith of these two individuals has really stopped me in my tracks. Why should I concern myself with "Black Friday" sales or whether or not Santa will fulfill Christmas wishes? It's not about any of that. This holiday season I want to be deliberate with my time and thoughts. I want to pay attention to all the gifts in my life and take the time to pray for those that are struggling and fighting for the opportunity to simply live.

It's amazing the lessons we can all learn if we sit back and take the time to watch the journey of others. We all have our own journey. We all have peaks and valleys along the way. It's how we decide to handle our peaks and valleys that really counts. More importantly, it's whether or not we choose to believe, that, even in the darkest, toughest valley there is hope and joy through gratitude, prayer and support.

I am thankful for David and my friend for allowing me to follow their journey. This holiday season I am reminded that very little in life matters beyond my relationship with my family and friends, my heavenly father and my children. This year I will raise my glass and toast to simplicity, health and the opportunity to live life with family and friends that I adore!

July 10, 2011: Baby Girl's Birthday

It's has been quite a while since I have blogged. It will take me several entries to catch up to the present.

Samantha Caelyn Cook entered the world on her daddy's birthday, July 10, 2011. If the way she entered this world says anything about her personality and will, I'm already proud of her and convinced that she will live up to her name.

The weekend of July 10, I started having contractions Friday night, the 8th. I wasn't in any pain, just a little uncomfortable and went about running errands and had dinner out with Hagie and Connor.

Saturday was much of the same scenario. Hagie, Connor and I did our usual Saturday stuff and eventually the contractions got a little closer and a little more uncomfortable. I made a call to the doctor on call, who happened to be my favorite in the practice, and he told me they weren't close enough (8 minutes a part) and to call back when they were five minutes a part. I didn't really like his answer but also knew that if the contractions weren't close enough together and if I had not progressed that I'd be sent home. So I read my book and went to bed.

Helllooo 3:30am! I woke up in severe pain, having to really concentrate during the contractions. I decided that it was a good idea to get in a hot bath and see if that helped with the pain and THEN call the doctor. I called the doctor about 4:45am and he said to "go ahead and come in, let us take a look." At this point, contractions were consistently coming every six minutes with very little time in between. Wowza!! I definitely should have called the doctor first. Lesson learned.

My sister arrived on the scene at 5:30am to keep Connor and off to DeKalb Medical we went. We arrived at the hospital at 5:45am. I didn't call my mom and dad yet because in my mind, I had plenty of time to call them once they admitted me. WRONG! Obviously the contractions were interfering with my decision making :). I hate it because I robbed my mom the experience of being in the room when Samantha was born.

It all went so quickly. I remember being balled over in the waiting area while they processed my paperwork. I sent Hagie to the reception window to tell them I couldn't sit there anymore and to please call me back. I WANTED DRUGS! After what seemed like hours, they finally came and put me in a triage room. In tears, barely able to talk, and begging for medication, the nurse wouldn't give me anything until they "checked" me and did blood work. I was about 7cm dilated when she checked me and thought I had plenty of time for an epidural. WRONG AGAIN!

The rest is a real blur but I do remember pushing in the triage room even when I was told not to which caused my water break. Sounded like a water balloon busted!! I recall begging the nurse for any drug she could give me. I specifically remember telling her she could put crack cocaine in my bag, I didn't care, just give me something!! I overheard them page my doctor for the second time as they rushed me to a labor and delivery room all while telling me not to push. I recall having to slide from one bed to the next, I recall practically climbing over the bed rail to try and control the pain and I absolutely did a lot of screaming and crying. During all of this, the nurses told somebody to get an OB in the room, that they didn't care if it was my doctor or not, but to get a doctor.

My doctor got to the room just in time. I screamed at him that I was going to push. Quite frankly, I didn't care at this point if they were ready or not, I was ready and apparently so was Samantha Caelyn. Two pushes later and a lot of screaming and our precious, healthy baby girl was here. ALL WITH NO DRUGS! Holy Cow! Time of birth 7:05am...less than two hours after leaving my house. Close call!!

Words cannot express the experience. It was surreal. It was painful. It was worth every tear I cried and every word I screamed! Did I choose a natural childbirth? Ummm, that would be a negative. Did I survive a natural childbirth? Absolutely and I feel stronger in so many ways because of it! I was also reminded that even in the most difficult and painful of times, I am not alone. One of my besties, Amy, came to see me that day at the hospital. She commented that I did not seem myself and seemed a bit out of it. After talking to her, I was able to recognize that what I had just gone through was absolutely an amazing experience, one that did not go as I had planned but one that I will never forget. The experience of natural childbirth left me in a daze as I ran over all the details in my mind.I hope I never forget!

Samantha Caelyn Cook entered this world determined and strong. I pray she keeps these attributes. Samantha Caelyn Cook weighed in at 6 pounds 6 ounces, 18.25 inches long and unaffected by the gestational diabetes. Thank God. She is truly a gift from God and I cannot get enough of her. I can't wait to share more about her in upcoming posts.

Meaning: "Told by God," "Listener"

Baby Girl Cook's due date is approaching faster than ever. We are at ten weeks and counting...the nursery isn't done and her clothes haven't been washed but she HAS a name.

Samantha Caelyn Cook: To be called "Sam" or "Sammie," whichever sticks. The story behind her first name isn't near as sentimental as that of her middle name. But nonetheless, it has a story too. Not to mention, she will have the same initials as mommy!

I'm a child of the 80s. And that means I grew up on great sitcoms, sitcoms that put to shame what is offered on current television. One of my favorites has always been "Who's the Boss." Those that grew up on 80s sitcoms, probably remember "Sam," played by Alyssa Milano. The daughter of Tony Danza on the show. I remember being drawn to Sam's character. The beautiful tomboy who had an admirable relationship with her father and was well-rounded in life. Even more so, I loved her name. I've always loved female names that when shortened are what most would consider "boy" names. Whoever was going to be sent my way to marry would HAVE to like the name...

Fast forward 20 or so years (yep, feeling old) and enter Hagie Cook into the picture. Like most couples, in the beginning Hagie and I had the "what if" discussions that included marriage and kids (how many, names we liked, gender we preferred, etc). To put a year to the story, it's fair to say that Hagie and I have had Baby Girl Cook's name picked out since about 2002-2003. It is a name we both agreed on from the beginning and one that we both liked shortened to "Sam." Now, to be fair to Hagie, I should probably say that him liking Samantha has nothing to do with "Who's the Boss," but it is a name that he loves.

Once Hagie and I were married and began discussing when to begin a family, "Sam" was the only option for a little girl. We didn't need to have a discussion. When God blessed us with Connor, we were thrilled and the name "Samantha" was put on a shelf in case we were to be blessed with a little girl in the future.

Interestingly, when I was about 12 weeks pregnant with Samantha, the ultrasound tech guessed boy but told me it was only a guess and that at 12 weeks gestation it's difficult to observe differences. I went home and called Hagie who happily accepted the idea of another son but didn't give up on the idea of adding a Samantha to our family. At my 18 week ultrasound, the ultrasound tech stated "y'all do want to know the sex right?" Well, in my head I was thinking I already knew but she could confirm. When she began typing a "g" on the ultrasound screen, I thought I would fall off the table, meanwhile, Hagie sat in his chair grinning from ear to ear. God had given us our Samantha. We both looked at her on the screen and knew she already had a name:). No debate needed.

If you combine the meaning of Samantha's first and middle names it means "listener loved forever." Samantha was loved before she was ever conceived and we cannot wait to meet her.

Samantha Caelyn Cook we await your arrival! "Sam" or "Sammie" to be determined.