The Power of Human Connection

Given the current state of our economy, I feel fortunate to have a job. But more than that, I feel extremely fortunate to have MY JOB. I LOVE my job. In addition to having the flexibility to set my own hours, take a day off when I want it, and have a work environment that is healthy and free of chaos (most of the time); I get to work with people. People in one of the most intimate of settings....a therapy session. People who are vulnerable, scared, depressed, anxious, and every other emotion you can imagine. And the best part is they invite me into the most intimate part of their lives....their thoughts and feelings. Some people that read this blog have been to therapy and some have not. For those of you have who never ventured into the office of a therapist, I'll be honest, it can be terrifying and relieving at the same time. Terrifying because you are likely their to deal with uncomfortable feelings and situations and relieving because you likely enter the office praying someone has a magic answer. Over the years, I have gotten better at not "taking my job home" and do a good job at giving my clients 100% each visit they have and then going home to my own family. However, yesterday I had a session with a client that I have seen now three times and every time I see him my heart literally feels like it is breaking in half. So much so that I feel the need to write about this individual, confidentially of course, so that you too may learn a lesson from him. I had the opportunity yesterday when bringing a close to his session to tell him that I learn just as much from him as I hope he does from me.

Withholding his name, this individual is a sixty year old man who lost his only daughter 13 years ago when his wife and daughter were in a car wreck, which happened to be the fault of the mother. Upon losing his daughter, my client lost all ability to manage his life and grief took over. He left his family which included three sons and his wife and became homeless. For years he lived under bridges and in homeless shelters and told me he made the decision to leave because he knew the pain in his eyes was more than his family could bear to see. During these years, he was often hospitalized for suicidal intent, his God just didn't think it was his time. While living on the streets, he was diagnosed with larynx cancer and had his voice box removed. He now feeds himself through a tube and uses a device to speak that makes sounds and words out of the vibrations in his throat. You are probably reading this wondering why in the world I am choosing to share this story. This man has strength that I believe is only provided by his Lord and Savior. He shares this same thought with me.

For homework, I asked him to bring in a picture of his deceased daughter and be prepared to tell me about her. So on yesterday, he brought in this beautiful picture of his daughter, taken on her first Christmas, and with shaking hands handed it to me. As we talked about his memories of her and how her death impacted him, he was also able to see how his inability to cope had "cheated" his three sons out of having a stable father figure in their lives for years. So there sat this 60 yr old man in full blown tears, telling me how ashamed he feels and how guilty he feels for leaving his family. Through his tears and his difficulty communicating, he was able to share with me that it is now his priority, regardless of how much longer he lives, to walk step by step with his sons and model for them that people CAN change. This is why I share this story. What an inspiration to me and his children. Despite this man's major challenges in life, he has been able to make tremendous changes in his life.....he is back home with his family and states that he has never felt more loved, attends therapy twice a month (all he can afford) to learn how to cope better and talk about his losses, he takes his medications regularly that help manage his depression and keep the suicidal thoughts at bay, and he is there for his sons whenever they need him.

He is learning self-forgiveness and I feel honored that he is allowing me to be a part of his journey. It is stories like this that remind me of why I do what I do and why I love it so much. This man trust me with his inner most feelings and feels safe enough to sit in my office and weep for the man he was and the man he wants to be. I admire his strength and am thankful when I am reminded that people can change and we all have inner strength that is there, we just have to utilize it!