Still Working It

Nope, I haven't disappeared. I've increased my days at work which means less time for ME. That's OK. Life is often about sacrifice and I'm there. Connor is doing well, he amazes me every day with something that he says or does. I'm proud to say he sings his ABCs, loves to count, knows all his colors (even the ones that aren't so common) and is finally becoming interesting in potty training. He's playing soccer (when he cooperates and actually gets on the field) and goes to swimming two days a week at the YMCA. My boy loves the pool! This he did get from me and not his daddy.

Since my ME time is limited, the one thing I have refused to stop is my workout routine and my diet. I am proud to report that I've now lost 15 pounds and fitting into size 6 pants! WAHOOOOO! I haven't been this small in about 6 years. In order for me to get my workout time each week, Connor and I go to the YMCA every day after work, he plays and I work it. I have another motive which is that by the time we get home, Connor is pretty close to pooped which means bedtime comes quicker and faster.

Closing this entry with the commitment to be more consistent with my entries...after all, it gives you a little insight into "my world."

Cheers to My Groom

I've always known that God truly blessed me with a loving husband! Lately, I feel that God continues to remind me that I am fortunate to have a husband who puts his family first. I am learning to pay more attention to the little things and to be grateful on a daily basis for what God has given me. I am also reminded every day that marriage is a learning process and that every day I learn something new about marriage and the ongoing work it takes.

I have also come to realize that I don't tell my hubby enough just how much I love him or how much I appreciate everything he does. My sweet hubby sent beautiful flowers on Valentine's and attached was a card that read "I do it all for you." Wow....and he really does. Traveling five days a week is not easy for him. Driving, most weeks, at least 18 hours on the road, isn't easy. Being away from our child isn't easy. When he wrote out his V'day card, he probably didn't realize the impact it would have on me...but it has had a tremendous impact and I get it. He works hard every day, away from his family, so that we can live a comfortable life. What a sacrifice he makes every week!

So, Hag, this blog is for you! I love you and appreciate every little thing you do, even when I don't show it. The days on the weekends when you hang pictures perfectly on the wall to please me, hang curtains only for me to say that "they aren't quite right," or when you take me to dinner because you know I've been couped up the majority of the week even when you are dog tired....for all this and much more I am so grateful and thankful!

I raise my glass to you...my partner in life, my hubby, and the best daddy in the whole world. Thanks for being you and thanks for "doing it all" for us!

Feeling Challenged

Today has been rough. However, today I am feeling hopeful and have decided that all I can do is do my best to be the best mommy possible and pray that God offers me guidance and perseverance as I try to encourage Connor to eat.

My dad, PawPaw, spent the morning with us. What a welcome relief. I love having my dad around, he offers sound parenting advice without being pushy (Nana is good at this too). His love for Connor and myself shows in his eyes and his gentle ways....I can only hope that Connor turns out to be just like him! Soooo, with PawPaw's encouragement and support, I stood my ground with Connor. After about 45 minutes of crying and screaming, Connor finally decided that he'd have a few bites of applesauce and pudding. Doesn't sound like much, and it isn't, but I have come to realize that with Connor, baby steps are really important.

After PawPaw left, Connor and I met a friend for lunch and much to my surprise, Connor ate some steak fries at the Brick Store, a good amount of them, and followed directions fairly easily. Chocolate was his reward. In addition, he received lots of praise and knows that mommy was very proud of him.

The day got better when for dinner, Connor went to the freezer and pulled out a "Kids Cuisine." He has never eaten these but he pulled one out and was intrigued by the animals on the front of the box. So I did what any encouraging mommy would do and told him that it was what the animals eat in the jungle (Connor loves jungle animals). Much to my surprise, Connor actually ate three to four bites of the chicken nuggets and a bite of the macaroni and cheese. Wow....was I pumped! He received lots of praise and was again rewarded. Although he didn't eat a lot, he at least put a new food in his mouth and didn't spit it out...this is progress! So tonight I will go to sleep with some relief, trying to understand that some things are out of my control and that I do have a God that I can pray to for support and comfort. Connor will be okay and so will mommy!

O'Child of Mine

I have to vent, after all that is part of why I started this blog. It is absolutely maddening to me to watch my child NOT eat. Most of you know that Connor's eating habits have been a struggle since he began eating solids. It has not gotten any better. For a little while, we took him to the Marcus Institute where they worked with him on what they call "Pediatric Food Selectivity." Regardless of what it is called, my child doesn't eat much at all. We had made progress going to the Institute but our insurance changed and financially we just could not pay the absolutely astronomical fee for hour long visits. So......here we are three months later and Connor has regressed and now won't eat his favorites (Red Baron pizza, waffles, yogurt, Teddy Grahams).

I long for the day that I can actually pass a McDonald's and my child ask for a Happy Meal. I long for the day that I can fix a normal dinner, make him a plate and have him eat without any problems. Connor REFUSES to try new foods. He's tired of the old ones and wont give anything new a chance. I worry about his nutritional intake. He gags on liquid vitamins and so giving him vitamins is a whole other blog!

I often watch my child struggle to find something to eat and wonder if I am being punished??? Have I really done something so bad that I have a child that refuses to eat??? What am I supposed to do to get him to eat???? Not having $300 a week for an hour long session seems to have cut our options short. I'm over it. I've cried and paced the floor so many times watching my child turn down "normal" toddler foods to where I no longer know what to do. Some parents have told me "let him go without, he eventually eat." Well....I've tried this....it didn't work....Connor held out!

Soooo...not having any answers.....all I know to do is rely on faith and believe that my child will eventually have a change in opinion regarding food. This is extremely hard to do when I know he isn't eating enough or even anything nutritional for his body. So tonight I go to bed extremely frustrated and over it! Why won't my child just eat???

Life is Precious

This week the young wife of one of Hagie's supervisees died. Her loving husband, only 26 years of age, by her side and left to make the decision whether or not to have the medical equipment disconnected. He had it disconnected and she died just a few short minutes later. This has been heavy on my mind all week.

Though I didn't know this young lady her death has impacted me. Her young death is such a reminder that every day is precious and should be lived to the fullest. I think about her young widowed husband who know has to figure out how to go on with his life without his "bride."

We don't always understand death or the reasons why God calls people home but we can learn valuable lessons throughout our own lives as we are touched by the cycle of life. This week I have been reminded of lessons I have learned throughout my own life:

• Tell those you love that you love them everyday.
• Treasure moments together because you never know when they will be your last.
• Make an effort to make those you love feel special every opportunity you get.

Renovation Update

Just a quick update about the progress of our home renovations! Thanks to many long, stressful hours for Hagie and a team of about three men, my house is 90% done!!!! Those of you that talk to me regularly know that this process has challenged my anxiety, tolerance, and ability to let go of that which I cannot COMPLETELY control. Wheewwww....that's hard!

All we have left are some minor paint touch-ups, a major cleaning job (will definitely being contacting the cleaning service) and painting the outside of the house. It has been a long process but well worth it! The new crown and base boards look great, the color tones on the house just work and my new dining room is lovely....now all I need is a new table. One thing at a time Stac!

I have not been the easiest person to deal with during this because, as most of you know, lack of order increases my anxiety just a tad ;) So I find it necessary to publicly apologize to my hubby for dealing with me on my grouchy days and thank my girlfriends for letting me vent about the process.

I love you Hagie for putting in the time, energy and money to make our home even more "homey."

Now....onward to the decorating :)

Feeling Good

Most of you that are reading this know that I joined Weight Watchers the week of Thanksgiving. Well...I am hanging in there. It's actually not bad on most days. My body has gotten used to smaller portions and a lot less junk food. Although I have to admit that there are days that I definitely crave some good fast food or something sweet (and not a 1pt chocolate bar from WW).

I have added exercise to my daily routine! I love it. Before breaking my ankle in 2007, I exercised regularly and really enjoyed it. But once I broke my ankle, I got out of routine and it took way too long to get moving again. I love the way I feel after a good walk or a good cardio/sculpting routine. I feel energized and am a lot less tired. Exercise is great stress relief for me and I am starting to see the results. I love that now I feel guilty if I don't exercise every day. Not to mention, Chloe and Connor enjoy our walks :)

Thanks to those of you that offer me support each and every day! It's working!!